Wanna hear a cute story about a stalker? Say whaaaaaaat?
How can a story about a stalker be cute, you ask? Well because it’s about me, of course.
So I wasn’t exactly a stalker, but I did have a crush on this boy when I was a sophomore in high school. We had Spanish and geometry class together, and sometimes we would even joke around together. (Naturally I played out an entire romance in my head.)
Now because this boy was very shy, one of my BFFs (LYLAS Brandy! KIT! BFFs 4eva!) and I concocted an ingenious plot to lure him into my (loving) clutches. I secretly slipped a note into his backpack inviting him to go bowling, and she did the same to one of his friends. Double date = pretty harmless/smart/cool.
Well wouldn’t you know that the other guy called my friend back ASAP, but I never ever ever heard back from my boy. Humiliating, right? So embarrassing. Hang your head in shame and never ask a boy out again. Especially that boy.
Wrong. Two years later, after never speaking of said bowling invitation, I asked him out again. But this time it was different. This time it was on the phone, and this time he said yes.
Then we got married 5 years later. Awwwwwwww.
Is it wrong that I’m making this post in honor of my husband’s birthday when in fact he strictly forbade me from sharing this story on the interwebs? Dun dun dun.
This is all really just to say happy birthday to my hubs. Let’s go bowling.
And now let me entice you with the very beginnings of what I hope to be a pretty
little incredible birthday cake.
Start with 10 eggs and sugar. That alone makes for an epic start.
Whip for at least 5 minutes on high until light and fluffy.
Fold in some flour.
Then fold in some melted butter. Fold, fold, fold.
Pour that dreamy goodness into a half-sheet pan.
Spread it evenly across the pan. Even the whole way into those corners.
Bake for a quick 15 to 20 minutes until light and springy. Then let that bad boy cool until you’re ready to cut out some rounds and make a layer cake.
(a.k.a. the perfect cake for layer cake)
5 T. unsalted butter
5 large eggs, plus 5 large egg yolks
1 c. sugar
1 t. vanilla
1 c. pastry or unbleached cake flour
Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Line the bottom of a half-sheet pan with a silicone baking mat, or lightly butter the pan and line the bottom with parchment paper.
Melt the buter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Transfer to a small bowl. Let stand until tepid, about 5 minutes.
Bring a large saucepan of water to a simmer over high heat. Reduce the heat to very low to maintain the simmer. Whisk the eggs, yolks, and sugar together in the bowl of a heavy-duty stand mixer. Place over the water (the bottom of the bowl should not touch the water) and whisk constantly until the sugar is completely dissolved and the mixture is very warm to the touch (an instant-read thermometer will read 118 degrees F), about 1 minute. Do not overheat the mixture.
Attach the bowl to the mixer and fit with the whisk attachment. Add the vanilla. Beat the mixture on high speed until it is almost quadrupled in volume, very pale yellow, and fluffy, about 5 minutes. (If you are using a handheld electric mixer, this will take at least 6 minutes.) You’ll know that the right consistency has been reached when, if you lift the whisk attachment a couple of inches above the bowl, the egg mixture creates a thick ribbon that falls back on itself and holds its shape on the surface of the mixture for at least 5 seconds before sinking, Remove the bowl from the mixture.
Sift the flour through a mesh wire sieve onto a piece of parchment paper. Return the flour to the sieve. In four equal additions, sift the flour over the egg mixture and use a balloon whisk to fold it in. Keep the batter as light and fluffy as possible; handle it gently. Transfer about one-fourth of the batter into a medium bowl; add the butter and fold in with a balloon whisk. Pour this mixture back into the remaining batter, and gently fold in with the whisk.
Pour the batter into the half-sheet pan and smooth it evenly, being sure that the batter fills the corners of the pan. Bake until the top of the cake is golden brown and it springs back when pressed gently with your finger in the center, 15 to 20 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely in the pan.
Run a sharp knife around the inside of the pan to release the cake. Place a cutting board larger than the pan over it. (I didn’t have a cutting board larger than a half-sheet pan, so I inverted the cake onto a piece of parchment straight on my countertop.) Invert the pan and board together. Remove the pan. Carefully release the baking mat around the perimeter of the cake, then, starting at a short end, roll up the mat and remove it. (The cake can be stored at room temperature, covered with parchment paper and then plastic wrap, for up to 1 day. The parchment paper keeps the cake from sticking to the plastic.) You are now ready to assemble the cake.
Source: Sarabeth’s Bakery